I’ve been off my feet and out of training as well as video production for the last week.

I was pretty disappointed, as I was on a groove with training. But when everything lined up the way it did, I knew the universe was providing a pause for me. The truth is, between the emotional experience of the last two years combined with a continuous weekly video production schedule; a new, intense taekwondo training schedule, and everything else in my life, I was feeling pretty harried, lately. There’s no doubt about that. I definitely needed some kind of break. So, hey! Why not a rib?

FOR MATTER OF PERSONAL RECORD

Before I got the message my brain was trying to send me, I tried to push through the pain of of the injury—which, by the way, is nothing major as far as I can tell—but after the Tuesday night session at the dojang, I felt worse. This is four days after the initial night where I got popped hard in the ribs at the end of a tournament training class (sparring).

So I went home and tried to find a proper suspender wrap method to damp out some of the pain, but was left in the end feeling a bit winded and annoyed. And ridiculous. I think it was all that gleaming, toothy metal. Or perhaps just a natural consequence of wearing suspenders sideways.

It’s times like this you suddenly thank your ribcage. Curling around your most vulnerable parts like an ivory fist, protecting your organs from the many things that would crush or bump or squeeze them in a day. They are rather amazing. Bone, and yet arranged in a way and woven together with muscle so they are flexible enough to move a bit when you breathe, and bend.

I’ve been reading about symptoms and diagnosing myself for many years…it’s because of my mother. I grew up around PDRs and anatomy books and her being a nurse all my life. I long ago became good at taking note of symptoms, when they began, in what context, and many details about the new sensations or body changes that might be useful in diagnosing. Those were the questions my mother would always pose to me when I came to her with news of an injury or illness.

After reading about fractured ribs, it seemed a good possibility. In any case, it was not a good idea to risk heart or lung damage, as one of the pain spots is in the front, over my heart. (“Fractures of the higher ribs potentially pose damage to the aorta.”) It was lines like that that decided it for me. But for those first four days, I was doing my stubborn thing that I do with my body. Ignoring the pain.

Then again, when you are practicing daily to not let the mind interfere with your training with all its pain and lazy signals on a constant basis, it needs to raise the volume when there is real danger.

Even as it heals, I don’t know if it was cracked or fractured or just bruised or what. I think maybe it is not fractured. I’m guessing it got hit hard, and bruised, or perhaps jammed back into the muscles like a jammed finger.

Or maybe it is just a tiny hairline fracture that has knit itself fast using all the jalapeño juice I’ve been feeding it. I don’t know for sure. As the hospital is charging me $600 for a bandaid and five minutes of their time already, I don’t dare go in for an actual X-ray type situation. Some Tiger Balm and later, hot shower time and one more day of rest oughtta do it.  I can’t take much more than that anyway! I’m feeling so restless.

DRAWING THE SEAM OF SUMMER SHUT

Speaking of my foot, it is nearly entirely healed. The wound is nearly all closed over with scar. And the part where boiled water splashed on me peeled away, leaving a rather interesting patch of  lighter skin on my summer-tanned foot. I have not thrown out the broken culprit cup. I loved that pretty blue cup. It’s that bright, translucent blue. The color of the bottles you’d see on windowsills in houses in the country. I guess I’ll glue it together. And use it for something. Not for drinking, though. It has lost that privilege.

I woke up at 4 this morning and soon had an idea on script  for new video. Scribbled down all my thoughts. Talked out a rough draft of the monologue, recorded it for reference later. I’ve also been doing more work for Digital Stoneworks, for our game. That seems to be picking up a little. Looking forward to making progress on that. This next week will be back to work on a few fronts, but at a slower pace than previously. A slower and more attentive pace.

Hey. I also solved the Sage of the Wind Temple in Zelda:Wind Waker, and restored the Master Blade’s power to dispel evil. Which is very cool.

And I formally received my stripe and certificate for this last belt test. I’d already memorized Taegeuk Sa Jang in the week I set out to do. Now to keep practicing it, refining it. The hardest part is the first remembering of it. The whispery skeleton of vines upon which you’ll soon hang thunder. That first imprint is a watering. That is the precious sapphire secret in the bud.

now. let’s get out of the godrobot glare, grab some coffee and sit in the sun to start this day of properlike.

so. that won’t be happening.

as i wrote on the youtube description (if you want to see the vid in high quality, and you may since it’s about the aesthetics/art of something), check it here & click “View in High Quality”) hacking the iPhone is fun …it reminds me of the days i had my 8600 Mac (FOUR GIG HD!!!) and would totally mess with the resources, mostly strings and pict resources, and totally tweaked out the computer. (i still have nifty screenshots) then they changed the entire architecture with OS X and it got scary to go into the System folders and everyone was just trippin over the OS in general (released from pre-OS X limitations! wow! protected memory! multithreaded operations! 3D!!!!). but now we’re back in and i foresee some kickass themes in my future. i know i’ll do a UMX one and a couple hardcore xicano ones. then probably something organic. rough. like wood, or stucco type feel. analog. reel to reel theme so it looks like an old tape  player? it depends. anyway, lots of potential! dont know how much cash it would make, but somehow that’s never what motivates me to begin scribbling! agh!

this was sort of a practice run. most of the icons are not mine, so i can’t call it a XOLAGRAFIK theme or anything. (i created the dock, five icons, and the background image). next one, for sure.

the human body is a metaphor for all reality. the word made flesh, they say?

the good thing about a tower is you can expand the internal drive area. nothing safer or more stable than internal drives. wish i could make more room on this internal drive. funny how fast 250G fills up. and just with applications. hmm. and i bet my iPhoto area is pretty big by now….nah, only 6G. but if i copied my mp3s over to an external drive that would be about 30G free…hmm. ugh. not worth it. i need to have way more than that at the ready. got to buy me one of those new 2T drives. (2000G!!!) but that’s about $400. maybe soon. clearly i need more space, and reliable space. maybe LaCie. tho Maxtor is supposed to be okay, too—and that’s the one that just died on me.

talk about a land of excess. i can buy a hard drive for a few hundred and then it dies on me a few months later (half a year? more?) and i’m accepting its just dead. thats amazing. ready to buy a 2T. i see way too many products that fall apart so much faster than when i was younger. remember when TVs lasted a good decade and cost less than a hard drive does now? hell, our new bed is pretty much dying after a half year. well, it may not have been the best in the world, but it was new, and it wasnt super cheap. the truth is, if you want quality items you almost always have to pay top dollar. its another one of those poor people traps. you cant afford the quality so you repair and replace twice as much using shoddier products. and feel cheap as you look around at cheap goods. thats why i try to get quality items when i can. it pays off. of course sometimes you cant afford them and then there’s nothing you can do about that.

i need something that does disc diagnostics and repair. “Data Rescue II” is good, i hear. need something to make sure i’m keeping my drives defragged. i’d hate to think i’m just going through drives (i have a few in my closet) simply because i’m not defragging them. and please tell me why mac has no defrag app built in yet? really. come on. i’m all about apple, everybody knows. but windows was doing that back in the 90s, probably earlier. let’s get going with the defrag.

okay. quick stretch and then try this thing one more time. i’m feeling less irritated (funny what a resurrected drive will do for the spirits) and tho i’ve broken my rhthym, i’ll pick it back up. need to stand, walk, shake off the cramp. bang the drums for a second, shake the bones. 

i really hope i can get that drive working. or one of them, once i buy a new drive and try one more time to copy the data. if not, i’m back to my complaint yesterday. losing years of work. which means i’d have to pay to have it retrieved. and you’ve ever looked into that, it’s usually highly expensive. yay. just what i was hoping to spend some cash on.  you know. aside from my teeth. and the bed.

sometimes i gaze softly at my matte-finish spongy LCD screen and wonder what would it feel like to punch you until you went completely dark? 

yeah. i’d end up with broken fingers, i’m sure. i guess it’s not worth it. i’ll table the decision.