i’ll stay dangerous

i decided, so far, against the vasectomy…read up on it and don’t care for the possible side effects
as many as 35% of men will end up with some kind of chronic pain associated with sex or arousal and vessels that no longer output eventually
rupture
was the word. oh but that’s normal!

and apparently you build up anti-sperm antibodies from dumping all of it into your own bloodstream
and that’s enough for me.

i’ll stay the way i am
wet-wanded, unknotted, and radiating a dangerous fertility

anyway
i don’t know that i care for the argument
that it’s better to cut up my functions
than risk the possibility of planting another wayward seed
is it so terrible, the story that brought me here?
after all, you could have told my father the same about his multiple children

and all things considered, i’m sort of glad to be alive

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You’re currently reading “i’ll stay dangerous,” an entry on house of nezua

Published:: 10.19.08 / 1pm

Category:: nonfiction

☚ taking a stand (in front of the sink) | ☛ i hear the sound of mandolins

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i’m a fly in the blouse of god. i’m a flake of fishscale in the house of nod. i’m a deep sleeping sprout that she snuck in the soil just before the weedkiller saturated the sod.

(Also see here.)

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sweetleaf 10.19.08 / 1pm

i like it. yes stay whole, stay dangerous, and what you got – pass it on!
wayward seeds unite…it is where i belong

aighmeigh 10.19.08 / 3pm

when i read the post that lead to this, i almost commented… almost stated some blather about never being able to tell what the future holds ’cause if we could most of us would stop living to avoid the pain… about how our children are not mistakes and that unplanned does not mean unwanted (i know that one from experience!)… but i thought better of it because there’s no way for me to put it that doesn’t sound ridiculously trite, but whatever.

as an aside, i know a number of young women who chose sterilization and regret it wholeheartedly.

you’re young and it’s just so… permanent and invasive. back to my first point, you never know what the future’s going to bring… who knows… you may get to a point in your future where you’re wanting to plan for *more* children!

nezua 10.19.08 / 3pm

thank you sweet leaf.

aighmeigh, there are certain viewpoints hard to assert, or times that are hard to assert them, and i can see that being one of them. guess i needed to work through it anyway. but i appreciate your telling me now.

i’m far far far from the point where i think i’d actually ever want any more children. its not about that for me. i have, as they say, been fruitful. but yeah…permanent. invasive. i’m not down with surgery unless necessary, really. i just think yeah. not unless needed for serious reasons. they say its not permanent but a little reading shows you its best to assume it is.

ultimately, all messing with the body like that is taking some kind of risk. and…these are not things i want to gamble with. i’d rather trust mother nature and fate…aside from taking other measures of course.

i’ll stay dangerous

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