respirar

i hefted my bags into my studio and dropped them.

i looked up to see my faithful setup. i felt horribly stifled all of a sudden. everything felt wrong. my room felt like a cell. my thoughts felt as if they were almost immediately becoming sluggish.

i decided i had to move the whole room around, change it all up. something. god, i felt i couldn’t stand it in there another moment. 

i reached up and grabbed hold of my air conditioner and pulled it backward. yanked free the cardboard that  had been closing up the rest of the window.

yes. that’s right. trees. wind. leaves moving around. i can breathe. 

later, flies got into the room. i tried to hang the screen back up but slipped and reopened the gash on my finger. my palms filthy with dust. 

now the window is open a crack. i’m not sure if i should bother with the fresh air as there are still holes in the screen. but i resist closing it all the way. maybe i’ll shut it later when i go to bed.

About this entry

You’re currently reading “respirar,” an entry on house of nezua

Published:
09.05.08 / 6pm
Category:
escritura, nonfiction, poemas
☚ 2nd to the last day | ☛ something they won’t look behind