outsmarted myself

it’s funny. i really can’t stand the presentation of one of my taglines anymore. over at the UMX blog. “smarter than ten aryans.” i don’t mind freaking out the white supremacists or even nudging certain other dicky types. but i really don’t want to put people on the defensive across the board. I don’t mean “white” people or european people, I mean everyone who secretly thinks THEY are smarter than everyone! Too much conflict! (Let the fools keep their illusions! The Unapologetic Mexican doesn’t really care what they think, but por supuesto, he is just a blog character/idea after all). i don’t really care to present myself as “smarter than” people anymore should they come upon a page of my blog from the internixes, even as an idea that is funny at the core. it puts me on my own guard waiting for that STRAGGLER who THROWS OPEN THE DOOR because invariably, it provokes bruce-lee-challengers. and it’s just tiring to parry with them. although…still amusing. i guess it’s been a while. but its the IDEA!! i’m feeling like being a stealthivist. get OVER it. stop oppressing the room.

i don’t know if this all implies i’m tired of writing at that blog or just tired of that tagline. oh the FRAMING. okay. perhaps not “tired of that tagline,” but “wanting to move into a new aspect, a new phase of the unapologetic calender.” yeah, that makes it easier to swallow i think, PRINT! the damn blog has a life of its own though. i polled people and they preferred it as it is. i didn’t even ask about that part, i asked about ten aryans vs “ten minutemen” and overwhelmingly, people voted to keep it asssss-is. its all branded now. can’t go changing things all LACKADAISICALLY. so funny. funny to remember, eh? when your blog was just you…just you and then a few. and it’s not like i have oceans of readers, but i’m just saying. i remember when my feed counter was about 12. and now on a sunday it’s 409. sometimes i feel i don’t even want to feed the thing. want to move on with my personas. find the next part. but then again the immigration issues remains very important to me…and tied to things important to me, and i just feel it’s important anyway and the blog keeps me in touch with all that and opportunities that spring from that…my art, my activism, getting published in many ways…learning about la cultura, it all stems from my maintaining that place. i know it doesn’t have to remain there. but i’m just saying it’s a GOTDAMN institution and it has me in its sway!!!!!

i guess one of the main reasons the tagline begins to rub is cuz when i hang out, i dont necessarily want to get all intellectual. that shit was for my teen years, i feel. not to say adults cant have intelligent conversations. but there’s a diff between intellectual and intelligent. and i’ve had a fair number of people through time think i enjoyed intellectual conversations and so fast i found myself bored silly and feeling phony. and one of the reasons you can find yourself in that position is if people feel you carry this image of being smarter than ten aryans n shit. oh well. it will all be okay three birdies.

and i like this place. i can just run around. it relaxes me.

i keep hearing the ocean in my ears.